Have you ever been stuck in a long queue for a Port-a-Loo on a summer’s day?  The thought of shutting yourself in that hot, stench-ridden box after the three thousand  people have splashed and splattered and used up all the scratchy toilet paper before you really isn’t appealing is it? But still, you queue.  You have no choice. Your bodily functions make it more painful not to go than to hold your breath and squat in the squalor.

A powerful example of motivation in action, the need to avoid pain is a stronger motivator than the desire for pleasure.   While we can all dream about the future and visualise financial abundance and stress-free living, we are unlikely to achieve success unless we attach psychological pain to not achieving what we set out to do.

When things are going pear shaped, the motivation to avoid pain kicks in and sharpens our minds to what needs to be done.   This is true of every area of our lives, from losing weight to relationships to finances: If you see a photo of yourself and don’t recognise the person with six chins and bulging belly, you are likely to be motivated to stock up on salad and walk straight past the biscuits and crisps when out shopping.   If you come home and find your partner with a suitcase in the hall, you might feel motivated to work on ways to improve your relationship.   If you have logged in to your business bank account to pay wages and find no funds are available, you might feel motivated to chase outstanding payments from customers.

Don’t get too comfortable

The most dangerous time for losing sight of our dreams is when we become ‘comfortable’.   You might be three months into your healthy eating plan when you have lost a stone and are feeling good about yourself. You still have another stone to lose but the pain of seeing the six chins is a distant memory, and that cake looks sooo good…. Uh Oh!

You might have gone to a few couple’s counselling sessions and have put effort into spending quality time with your partner and they seem to be happy again now, so it probably won’t hurt to book that trip away with your mates, even though it’s on your anniversary – you will make it up when you get back….Don’t do it!

You may have spent three months working hard on collecting in your debts from your customers and have a fat balance in the bank. You can breathe again! No need to keep badgering everyone for money so you relax and let your reserves slowly dwindle away, until the tax bill you forgot about suddenly bites you on the backside… Oops!

And so the cycle goes on, moving away from pain, becoming comfortable, and then slipping back towards pain again. Sadly, 95% of the population live their lives this way; losing the same stone year after year; moving from one bad relationship to the next; wondering if they will be able to pay their bills from month to month.

To become one of the few who achieve real success in life you must absolutely refuse to settle for the mediocre.   I am not just talking material success here, but lasting happiness and fulfilment. You must have the highest expectations of yourself and feel horror at the thought of getting to retirement age and wishing you had pulled your finger out and really done something with your life.

Fast forward to the future

What do you want to remember when you are ninety? Will you be sat in your rocking chair reflecting on a murky stream of joyless days, stressed at work, coming home and flopping in front of the telly?  Will your cupboards be stocked with Slim Fast as you attempt to lose weight for your great-granddaughter’s christening?

Your rocking chair scene is your ultimate destination, and you can affect the quality of your experience by the choices you make today.  By continuing a cycle of pain-contentment-complacency-pain, you are likely to end up in an eternal queue for the hot Port-a-Loo with your finances, relationships and health always just a short distance from ‘stinks’.

Once you get past the inertia of living a middle-of-the-road existence, you will find your dreams and goals have a magnetic field of their own, but you need to get close to them before they really pull you in.  Wouldn’t you rather be remembering the risks you took, the challenges you faced and the fears you conquered?

What has been the biggest thrill in your life so far? How could you achieve something even bigger and better?

Decide right now what you want really want out of life. If you have tried and failed in the past, ask yourself what you can do differently this time.  And, most importantly, decide that your journey will be enjoyable.  You may have to step out of your comfort zone to reach your goals but that’s no reason to be unhappy. Listen to your emotional navigation system – if you are on the right course it will feel good no matter how much effort you are putting in.

“Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”
–Reggie Leach

Light the blue touch paper today!!!

Written by Vicki La Bouchardiere – www.venture-coaching.com